This is WAR!
by JHO14Xnasha
Summary: The Avengers and our all time favorite hero, Alfred F. Jones  human personification of the United States of America  team against a terroist group 'hell' bent on ruling the world.   Formerly Just Put a Drink in My Hand.
1. Drunk Drinking Partners  No Fun

AN: Hey people! This is a collaboration fanfic between JHO14 and I, Xnasha Minstrel.

WARNINGS! SPOILERS FOR BASICLLY THE END OF THE NEW CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE!THAT'S LIKE, EVERYTHING, PEOPLE!

Oh yeah, and as long as you know who the Allies and the Axis are, your okay for Hetalia.

If you don't know them, why are you searching for a fanfic under these filters?

This is a three-shot: the first is during WWII, the second is right after Ol'Cap wakes up from state of hibernation, and the third is when Steve finally gets the truth.

Enjoy pplz!

Chapter 1 : In Which Drunk Drinking Partners Are No Fun

"TO THE CAPTAIN!"

The team raised their whiskey glasses, clinking them together. Everyone drained the glasses, all of them wincing a bit at the burn.

*SEVERAL MORE DRINKS LATER*

Bucky slung his arm around Steve. "Hey Stevie, mmhh…why's the room spinning? D…de lightsh are shipinning…"Steve grimaced at the stench of alcohol wafting in waves off his best friend. "You're drunk, Bucky. I'll help you get back…"

"Whysh? Ther…there are preety ladies around…ohhh… why's there a danshing tomato?"

Bracing his weight around the wasted man, Steve helped him walk out of the bar, letting the man take a breath of fresh air. Behind them, the other team members were still slumped around the table, stone drunk and unconscious, except the Asian guy, Jim, who was still swaying rather precariously with a glass of whiskey threatening to spill all over the wooden tabletop.

"I…I'm fine…I'm finnnnneeeeee…" With a resounding thud, Jim hit the floor.

Steve sighed. Because of the serum and its metabolism-changing effects, he can no longer drown his worries in alcohol like other men.

He set his very drunk friend down on the worn steps of the bar. Suddenly, he realized he had dropped his friend on top of someone who was already unconscious on steps. The man grunted, thick eyebrows almost obscuring the glazed green eyes.

"Wha' tha bloody hell?"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! IGGY YOU'RE ALL DRUNK!BWAHAHAHA!"

"Shu…shut up, stoopid Alfie…you wanker!" The man with the impossibly big eyebrows attempted to swat at the other blond's head. The other just dodged and laughed even harder. "YOU WERE SHO MUCH CUTER WHEN YOU WERE SHMALLER! THEN YOU HAD TO GO AND LEAVE ME!" From there on the man's words disintegrated into gibberish, until he finally passed out.

Steve settled Bucky into a more comfortable position on the stairs, his friend already passed out and snoring. He glanced at the other drunken man. "Excuse me sir, but is he alright?"

The blond with glasses grinned widely and laughed. "Oh, don't worry about it. He always gets like this when he's drunk." He jerked his thumb towards the other man who, judging by his uniform and the strap across it, was a British officer. "The drunk dude over there is my friend, Arthur Kirkland. I'm the hero, Alfred F. Jones! I'm awesomely American." Alfred was like a child in his enthusiasm, making a small smile appear on Steve's lips. "So you're Captain Steve Rogers, huh? Otherwise known as 'Captain America'? Wow, I expected you to be totally louder! I didn't even notice you in the bar!"

Steve winced. He was still slightly unfamiliar with being recognized as a former propaganda icon. "Yeah, that's me. So, what are you doing at this bar? Just getting drunk?"

Alfred laughed. "Yeah, for some reason, Iggy dragged me out to come drinking right after the Allied Nations meeting! I totally don't get that guy, even though I've known him since forever!"

"People like that are in my life too. Like my friend Bucky, I've known him since forever but I can't make heads or tails of him sometimes."

"Ahaha, so it is."

It was silent for a while, the only sounds being drunken snoring coming from two _very _drunk people.

"Hey, have you ever thought about what you'll do after this war is over?"

He turned his head to look at Alfred. The other man was staring up at the sky, eyes suddenly deep in thought. He turned his head again. "Any ideas?"

To tell the truth, he wasn't expecting a question like this. "Well, if I make it through this war alive, I would at least like to go dancing with a girl."

"Any girl in particular you fancy?"

An image of an extremely attractive British officer appeared in his mind's eye. "You could say that."

"Aha, I thought so. You seem like that sort of person."

"What about you? What are your plans for the rest of your life after this war?"

Alfred just smiled mysteriously. "Oh, I'll just be doing what I always do throughout the years: help my boss, get through tons and tons of paperwork, hanging out with my brother."

"That sounds so peaceful. I joined this war to help my country; I hope I made the right choice."

"I'm sure your country is grateful for what you're doing." Alfred stood up. "I have to get Iggy back to his house before he wakes up, being all doom and gloom from all the recent crap. He'll have a wicked hangover when he wakes up."

Bracing Arthur over his shoulder much like how he was supporting Bucky out earlier, Alfred walked in front of the steps. Just as he was about to leave, he turned his head back to the two men still on the porch.

For just a moment, the other man's cerulean blue eyes flashed and something familiar yet alien came over them. His smile seemed to get...older, almost. "America thanks you, Steve Rogers."

With that, the peculiar blond man with blue eyes and his drunken friend disappeared into the night, leaving a national superhero and _his_ drunken friend behind on the wooden steps of a bar in London, wondering.


	2. The First Meeting Part 1

**Xnasha: Hey people its me again! **

**Readers: Y U TAKE SO LONG! (Gets out torches and pitchforks)**

**Xnasha: Pleasedon'tkillmeIhaveavalidreason! (Turns to JHO14) Ihadavalidreasonright?**

**JHO14: Don't look at me. I don't know you.**

**Xnasha: (Gulp) Here readers, take this chapter as a worthy sacrifice! Riots aside, we have a more serious topic.**

**JHO14: So Xnasha and I had a conversation (Translation: Fangirl brainstorming) and we both realized that if we wanted to do this fic justice we're going to end up breaking the three-shot limit.**

**Xnasha: But because **_**I**_** am the more paranoid out of the two of us, I wanna know your opinions about the length of this fic.**

**JHO14: Drop us a review, or give us a PM, whichever.**

**Edit: **

**JHO14 here. **

**So I decided to change the pairing here because well...**

**Xnasha: BECAUSE SHE IS CURRENTLY OBESSSED WITH AmeriCan **

**JHO14: well that, AND that because it fits the plot better...so yeah. Enjoy!**

_"It's just..._

_...I had a date."_

America frowned absent-mindedly.

It was a relatively rare expression on the idealistic, naive country, but it was there today.

"Alfred, what's going on? You're not feeling sick because of the recession again, are you?" The blond man snapped from his daze before flashing his blinding smile at the other blond. "Oh hey Mattie, I didn't see ya there! What's up?"

"Nothing much...but you still didn't anwser my question" Canada said as he walked over to his brother/lover. "Tell me what's wrong, Al, or I'll have to force it out..."

"Oh?"

Alfred's grin grew devious, his blue eyes glinting behind Texas. "Oh? _Force it out?_" He purred as he walked towards Matthieu, forcing him to lean on the wall. The other man was flushed like a tomato. "How exactly _are _you gonna _force it out_?"

"Huh...w-wha..oh god Al, really? And you call me the perverted one. Anyways, just answer the question. What's bothering you? And don't say nothing, Alfred. I can clearly see that something is happening."

"Nothing's wrong babe! Everything is absolutely fine!"

"Al, please..."

"Really Mattie, everything is cool! I'm perfectly fine!"

"...You're sleeping on the couch tonight."

With that, Mattie walked away whistling.

"...wait, what? I'm sleeping on the...MATTIE!" The man ignored him. Alfred stared bemusedly at the back of the other nation. "Oh well. Time to go and visit Mr. Sleeping Beauty and see how he's doing after his seventy-year nap."

Everything had changed so much, in seventy years.

Seventy years, in which he had stood still and the world ran ahead, leaving him behind.

Nick Fury had offered him a place with the Avengers, and he had accepted. He was still a wimpy teenager at heart, even if he had seen things that no teen should have to see.

Today the Avengers were in Washington, D.C., to discuss one of the most troubling terrorist organizations (more like crazy 'I came from Heaven and I am going to take over Earth' people...) they had faced in quite some time.

Iron Man, a.k.a. Tony Stark, coughed to get everyone's attention. Spider-Man and Red Hulk were both pigging out on the food provided, while Wolverine was just staring into the distance, taking swigs from his whiskey bottle.

"Hey, where's everyone else? We're missing quite a lot of people at this meeting." Iron Man's voice 'frowned', as he looked around.

Spider-Man looked up from his food and said with his mouth full, "I think they're all off doing their own thing lately, and unless you've invented some kind of telepathic device, we can't get in touch with them at all."

"I see, so who exactly IS coming?"

"Um...well me, you, Red Hulk, Wolverine is over there, Nick, Captain America and..."

BANG!

"Who the hell..."

"THE HERO HAS ARRIVED!"


End file.
